Gleaming the Cubicle

 

A few notes on clandestine autonomy in the work place, and why it works for me.

Keep your work and your personal life separate, but just don't act like you're keeping your work and your personal life separate
- "I don't know. . . fly casual"
~ Han Solo.

The fact is, the greater society still frowns upon autonomous/unattached men.  We aren't to be trusted, because we won't be controlled, and that scares the shit out of a lot of people.  People fear what they don't, or won't understand.  And while being "mysterious" and even "anonymous" both have their advantages, they can also create harmful speculation, mistrust, and above all unjustified scrutiny.

So how do you maintain your autonomy without drawing too much attention to yourself?  Let them fill in the blanks and then reinforce the most boring and benign theories about who you are and what you are about.  Be friendly, be polite, but always maintain a formal and professional distance from your co-workers.

Work ethic:
I know this isn't the kind of advice that "climbers" would give, but let me assure you that there are long term benefits to maintaining a formal and professional distance from your fellow employees (peers, superiors and inferiors) and avoiding workplace politics without exception.  People come and go.  Careers are indeed made via relationships and networking, but careers are also destroyed via relationships and unwise alliances and/or rivalries.  You have the advantage of  being single, of not having to serve two masters, use that advantage, especially if your career is just starting.  Use the time you have to master yourself, your work and your life.  Do your job, master it, capitalize on the preoccupations, laziness, and incompetence of your coworkers by picking up their slack and learning to do their job, be a "team" player until you've made yourself indispensable.  Once you've arrived at "indispensable" you can actually do some real good for your employer and your career by allowing the people, who have come to depend on you to hide their laziness and incompetence, to demonstrate their incompetence at your discretion.  All that is required is that you withdraw your support, and leave them to their own atrophied devices.  This isn't "throwing people under the bus" - remember, they put themselves in that position, willingly - and they did so at your expense.

Work relationships:
DO NOT socialize with the people you work with outside of the office, unless you can identify a very specific reason that this would further your own purpose, and even then set and maintain strict boundaries.  Never let venue lull you into letting your guard down.  Some will deliberately make you feel at incredible ease just for a glimpse at a chink in your armor.  Be friendly, amiable in the office, but avoid anything but friendly small talk.  You will undoubtedly be asked personal questions from time-to-time, invent or even take up/make up a few, boring, run-of-the-mill hobbies and credible anecdotes that you can talk at length about, if need be, to satisfy the "water cooler" requirement.  You should be "working out" or engaging in some kind of health maintenance/improvement program anyway.  No matter what you do for fitness, call it "working out", don't bring up the "gym" even if you are a member of gym, because you want to avoid the "we should workout together sometime" problem. If that subject gets broached, just tell them that you workout at home.

You might have (and you should have, because that's one of the most valuable MGTOW benefits) any number of incredibly interesting pursuits/hobbies.  Keep it to yourself.  You don't want to seem interesting.  Again, keep and guard jealously the things that make you who you are.  Keep these worlds separate.  Don't bring your work into the "dojo", don't bring the "dojo" to your work.  Never discuss politics and keep your mouth shut about "current events" - disinterest and apolitical-ness are the cards to play here.  If you find yourself a direct target of misandry/sexism, seek and find a way to remove yourself from that situation in the most benign way possible.  You're going to have to bite your tongue at times, but you can affect change, even at work, through patient and diligent action - not words. Do resist the urge to cater to women.  No special favors, no kid gloves.  Treat them exactly as you would a male co-worker no better, no worse - keep both at arm's length.  Avoid Shit Tests (more on that later). Overtime, I have developed the ability to actually view the people I work with as sexless, but this is only possible if you make it impossible for them to view you as anything more than your job.    Remember, you are working to earn money to survive and flourish as a truly free individual, you cannot effectively resist, you cannot affect change, if you can't support yourself adequately.   You can do it, HAPPILY, without raising a single eyebrow.  I've done it, successfully, for over a decade and it has ALWAYS served me well.

Never, under any circumstances, even flirt with the notion of dating or having sex with anyone even remotely connected to your work - nothing good can come of it.  If you find yourself being the subject of a co-workers attraction/affection, put and end to it, immediately, no matter how harmless it might seem.   Project, reinforce and maintain the notion that you do not approve of, nor participate in romantic relationships with co-workers, as a matter of principle.If that makes you seem a bit uptight, so be it.  I've found that people, including women, respect that position, even if they don't agree with it.  A healthy fear of being accused of sexual harassment is absolutely justifiable, no matter what your company policy states.  It's simply an unreasonable risk to take.

Don't flirt, and don't allow yourself to be flirted with. How do I prevent someone from flirting with me, you ask?  Easy, describe the behavior to the flirter as creepy, weird, strange and inappropriate - and be deadly serious about it.  Show real disgust. "But what if they start thinking I'm a homosexual?"  So what?  It doesn't matter, at all.  Your perceived sexual preference is a non-issue, and any ambiguity you might be subject to with regard to sexual preference will only work to your advantage as a MGTOW.  It really is no body's business, after all, and they know it, and if they're fucking block headed enough to confront you about it, you can and should embarrass and shame the absolute shit out of them for it, not to be an ass, but to ensure that the subject never gets broached again.